For today!! It went great - the baby looks perfect! Healthy, gorgeous, and measuring right about 22 weeks, which is right where I'm supposed to be. And, I found out I'm having another gorgeous little GIRL!! I'm very excited that Rhiannon gets her little sister. She's excited, although now she's saying she wants a brother. Of course!
Here is HER very first picture:

Isn't she beautiful???

*One happy, blessed mama*

No u/s for me today. Dave took off work, I lined up a sitter for Rhiannon, and got all hyped up for the u/s, but got rejected when I got there. I just got home, and am so disappointed.
Apparently, my midwife set it up and was told it was no problem - she has sent other clients there before, recently. I show up and am told that midwives can't order ultrasounds, only dr's can. So I called my m/w, she tried to get hold of an OB to sign the referral, no luck. I called my PCP, and he refused to help me and fax over a slip authorizing the u/s. So my m/w offered to schedule another one this afternoon at a different place that was midwife-friendly, but Dave would not have been able to come along, and he wanted to be there (we had to go get Rhia, and he was getting a flat tire, etc. etc). So now I have to call this new place and set it up again.

I am so bummed out!! Pooks gets to keep the secret for a while longer.

I made it through the Farmer's market yesterday! It went really well for my first time. Thankfully my friend Melissa took Rhiannon for the entire day so I could just get ready. Then Dave ended up having to work a little later, but we made it out there in time to get the tent up before 4:00. I was still setting things out at 4:30 (it started at 4), but it was OK. I actually made a couple of sales, which I hear is really good for the first time, since people generally just look the first week. I'm excited about it - I hope I make some sales quickly, since I'm only out there for the next 3 weeks. I fear the heat; both for my over-heated pregnant bod, and for my poor candles! We'll just see how it goes. If it's going really awesome, I might go in for another 4 weeks (you have to sign up for 4 weeks at a time).

Personally, I'm doing really well! I'm 21 weeks already, I can't believe this pregnancy is already more than half over! It is definitely going much faster this time. AND, I get my ultrasound tomorrow!!! Dave said he didn't care if we find out the gender, so I really hope the baby cooperates and we get to see the teeny bits. I don't care either way, but it will be nice to refer to the baby as "him" or "her", as opposed to "it". I hate that! I had my very first dream about the baby the other night, and it was a boy, so we'll see how accurate that is. I dreamed about a boy with Rhiannon too, so I'm not going too much by that, but I am leaning that way. I'd love to have a little girl, too, and Rhiannon told me tonight she's having a little sister, so I guess we'll see who's a better predictor!

Things have been better with Rhiannon since getting back from MN. Melissa has been such a blessing - I really believe she's been put in my path for a specific reason. She has been such a support these last few weeks - she took Rhiannon almost every day so I could make candles and get ready for the Market, she totally identifies with what I'm going through with Rhia since her first was also a challenge, and she's just been so generally supportive of me starting this whole candle business. We've really gotten close in a short amount of time, and I feel very grateful to have met her. *raises bottle of water to Melissa*

Ok, I think I've covered everything now. I have lots of people I need to catch up with, and I'll try to do that in the next few days. Blessings!

Well, we made it back from MN in one piece! It was a nice trip, and I ate a lot of hotdish, Anna! LOL My mom drove me nuts of course, the guilt trips got tedious, but whatever. I expected it. Apparently I was supposed to be in 20 places at once, meeting with every member of our family, even though she cancelled on ME for one thing, and the family we were supposed to make a special effort to see (and we did!) couldn't be bothered to show up at the family picnic we had scheduled for just that purpose. But somehow it's my fault. Oh, and not only am I supposed to show up, but I'm supposed to have a damn smile plastered on my face every second, even though I'm stressed out beyond belief trying to leave town that day. argh!

The best part of the trip was meeting Dave's son! It was awesome. The girl he was dating in high school decided she'd go off birth control, and told all of her friends she was going to try to have a baby, but neglected to mention that little tidbit to Dave. So she got pregnant, and at first all was well, but he flipped out when he found out she did it on purpose. So he couldn't stand to see her, and ended up not seeing the baby either. After a while he settled down, and wanted to see his son, but by then she had remarried and started another family with her husband, and he didn't want to intrude and show up on this kid's doorstep like "hi! I'm your real dad!" and totally freak him out. So then time just passed, etc. etc., and he didn't know what was the best thing to do, so he just stayed away. I think he was afraid of dealing with it at that point, since so much time had gone by (the boy is 12 now). (and yes, he's been paying child support this whole time.) So I've been trying to plant the seeds of reunion for many years now, and he finally got up the courage to contact her (through the state, since he wasn't allowed to have her contact information). But surprisingly, and thankfully, she was very open and receptive to the idea of them meeting, and was actually really great about it. She had to tell Dylan (the son) the whole story, since he'd pretty much grown up thinking her husband was his father, but he was really cool with it, and they talked on the phone a few times before we went out there, and the meeting went fantastic! We all met for lunch first, and that went so well we set up another meeting to spend the afternoon together at Dave's folks' house, so they could meet him too. There has been so much pain, and shame, and fear surrounding this situation for so many years - Dave has been carrying this guilt around since he was a teenager! So to see him have this huge weight lifted off his shoulders is such a wonderful thing for me to witness. I'm just so happy! And, Dylan is SO much like Dave, it's really crazy.

I have to make this all for now, I will be back soon with another update (I hope!).

Man, it's been crazy this week! I've been working my butt off to get an inventory of candles made up, because I'm going to be out at the local Farmer's Market in two weeks! That will be less than a week after we get back from our trip to MN (we leave Friday morning). So I'm swamped. But I'm looking forward to a change of pace around here, even if it is just to go home. :P Sorry, I'm not a big fan of small-town MN, where I manage to bump into someone I know (and who knows the crap I pulled in high school, and doesn't seem to realize that was a decade ago!) every time I step foot out the door. argh!

Rhiannon's actually been really great lately. I have also made sure *I* sat down and had a major attitude adjustment as well, and I haven't been getting upset when she does a freak-out. I think she likes the reactions, and enjoys making me mad. This new friend I've made recently totally has her pegged already - we were working on the site for the candles here on my computer the other day, and she said "someone's looking for trouble", and I turned around and Rhia had her naughty face on. Sure enough, she started trying to instigate some trouble. I just mentioned that since she was in here throwing things and shrieking that she must not be interested in her movie anymore, and she stopped everything and turned around and left. If she's not upset, then why should I be?

I also wanted to thank everyone who has posted or called me with support!! It helps so much to get different perspectives on everything - sometimes it feels like I'm the only one dealing with this, so it's nice to get a wake-up call.

Blessings! I'll try to post again before we leave...