Well, they did pick Hitler (1938) and Stalin (1939, 1942), too.

The winner must be "the person or persons who most affected the news and our lives, for good or for ill, and embodied what was important about the year, for better or for worse," he said.

OK, so I agree; he qualifies.

This is a (morbidly) interesting story. Over the last few years, there have been a few high-profile killings of pregnant women by their husbands. I had heard the statistic that the number one cause of death of pregnant women is murder. How fucked up is that, in the day and age where women are happily scheduling the opportunity to be cut open and have their babies surgically removed from their wombs? It is so seriously messed up.

Here's the final of many horrific stories in the article. It is the saddest thing I've ever read.

"Ashley Lyons, 18, faced a similar horror in a park near her old high school in Kentucky early this year — on the day she went to her doctor for an ultrasound and learned she would be having a boy. She was 22 weeks along.

She had already picked out a name, Landon, and created a baby journal. As one entry gave way to another, she confided her ex-boyfriend's opposition to the pregnancy. Still, she wrote: "You are the child I have always dreamed about. . . . I know it will be a long time before I meet you, but I can't wait to hold you for the first time."

Excited by the ultrasound Jan. 7, Lyons made plans to show the fetal pictures to her ex-boyfriend, Roger McBeath Jr., 22. She left her family's home, telling her mother she would be back for dinner. But when her father and brother found her, she was sitting in her parked car — with the car engine running and the headlights on.

She had been shot twice in the head and once in the neck. In her lap was her handbag -- half opened — with the ultrasound picture inside, her father said.

"He knew that if she had that baby that she would be in his life forever, and he didn't want that," said prosecutor Shawna Jewell.

On a cold Kentucky afternoon, four days later, Lyons was buried with her tiny baby tucked into her arms."

I just wanted to pop in and say hi and let you guys know I'm out here, just really swamped right now (as are we all, but I am not as organized as some!). So I haven't gotten much time to post. I probably won't be able to really catch up until after the holidays.

It's been nuts around here; I've been making candles like mad and have completely destroyed my kitchen in the process (well, I haven't burned it down or caused permanent damage; it's mostly covered in wax and completely unusable; there was only one small fire! (lol) and yes I'm serious; it mostly involved a paper towel and a tiny metal spatula and a great deal of jumping and shrieking; but it was nothing).

I met up with my friend Jen this afternoon at the airport! She was flying through on business and had a 2-hour layover here, so I drove in to have coffee with her. I was over 10 minutes late; I pull in to short-term parking, in front of the meter(!), and realize I have no cash. Nuhthing. I rummage through the van for a few minutes and scrounge up a dime and a nickel, which I hope will buy me enough time to run inside (down one flight of stairs and across a huge long walkway), find an ATM (somewhere), get back, convert bills to change, and get more money in before it runs out. Or before I get caught, whichever. I read the tiny print and see that a quarter gets 10 minutes. 10 minutes!? Oh, good, and it only takes quarters. So I look up and an older gentlemen is getting into his vehicle across from me, and I see his nice middle-aged wife in the passenger seat, so I go for it: "Sir, may I please borrow, uh, I mean *have* a quarter?" which was bad, because he says "HAVE?" fairly indignantly, so I stumble around about how I *would* say borrow, but that would not be honest, since I would probably never see him again, mutter, mutter, sorry sir, shuffle feet. He softened, but still was unable to say "hey, that's cool, I have an extra quarter right here, happy to help out." He sorta shoved one at me and said "No, you will *not* be seeing me again" or something, and got in his super-spendy SUV and started backing away. I dropped in the quarter, looked up, and it was like slow-mo; they were slowly backing away, then turning, then moving forward; and the wife stared at me and I stared at her and I sensed she was unhappy and that he was too. But I was grateful for the quarter, so I forced a little smile and a wave, but the moment didn't break, not until the truck blocked her view did it break.
That sounds like a lot, typed out. But it was all just a moment in time, I swear. At the time, I just sorta didn't feel like being pissed off at the guy. I mean, really, it's a goddamn quarter. A quarter! If you're going to give someone something, do it happily (or at least nicely), in the hopes that it might improve their day a little more, the very *now* of their life. If you're going to give grudgingly, what is the point? You're doing something nice, a small kindness for another human being. Why taint it like that?

Anyway, I had a blast talking to Jen. I haven't seen her since July; we've been on an online group together for about 3 1/2 years or more. We all joined when we were trying to get pregnant. She has beautiful twin girls that are a few months older than Rhiannon. Anyway, this group has a reunion every year, and July it was in San Diego, so I was able to go and finally meet a lot of these women I've known for years, who know far more than they probably care to about my fertility history, menstrual cycle, and sex life. LOL So when I walked in, it was just like we talk every day, because we pretty much do! So it was great getting to sit down with her and chat over coffee; a real treat. She loaned me her copy of The Secret Life of Bees (besides a dollar for that damn meter), so now I'll get to find out what Barb's been raving about ever since I've known her! :D I'm afraid I talked Jen's ear off about my candle-making stuff, though. Sorry, Jen! I'm just excited. LOL

Speaking of which, I brought her one of my new candles (see, it's hopeless); I'm experimenting with coloring techniques, and I've really gotten some beautiful ones done (also some really hideous ones). This Yule candle is kicking my ass. It is refusing to emerge the way I see it in my imagination. None of them have felt right yet. Another one is in the mold, I'm trying not to think about it, because I hate waiting to see what it looks like. Torture!

I'm gonna go check if it's ready. :)
I need to wrap this up anyway, this is getting out of hand (long).

So, I'm sorry I haven't been around! Mix a Virgo, a current obsession, and a deadline, and it gets hard to break away. :)
But I'm happy! :D

I finally got my wax shipment in! Yay! I have been a candle-making fool. I am working with soy wax for the first time, so I have another learning curve again. Everything about it is different from the paraffin; heating temps, pouring temps, coloring - everything. Ugh. I've been making lots and lots of mistakes. I've tried to replicate my photo candle three times with the soy wax with no success. Bummer. I need to get all my christmas gifts made and out the door by sat. to make sure everything gets to where it's going by xmas.

Still waiting to hear on the refinancing deal - I'm pretty anxious. If we get it, we will be SO much better off; debt-free pretty much. So I have a stomach ache from nerves; I had hoped to hear from the mortgage guy today. Dave and I have even talked about maybe using some of the money for me to have that lasik eye surgery. To have decent vision for once in my life would be an unbelievable blessing. I've been wearing glasses since the first grade, and I'm legally blind without them, so it would be a major change. If I qualify for it or whatever. I'm just excited about the possibility.

Bean and Dave are in bed; he has to get up for a job at midnight, poor guy. Then they want him to work right away again in the morning. ??? So far he's liking this new company, so hopefully he'll be able to settle in and stay put for a while. He's had a lot of job changes the last few years; a couple of lay-offs in Portland, and this is the third company he's worked for in Vegas already. They haven't been *great* companies (he does construction inspection, so he does the same job, just different employers), and every change has been an improvement, but it will be nice for him not to be "the new guy" again for a while. He hates that part of switching jobs. He is not a social butterfly, my man. He can work a crowd when he needs to, but he'd prefer to be home playing video games. :)

Rhiannon threw up several times yesterday, but I gave her some homeopathic medicine after her nap, and her fever disappeared and stayed away. She went to bed just fine and slept all night, even slept in for a change! She's been bright-eyed and bubbly all day today, so I guess whatever hit her is gone now! yay! I was surprised too; every other time she's gotten sick it's always been in the middle of the night, not early afternoon! So I'm feeling pretty lucky right now. :)

I was making out a grocery list this morning, and thought I'd make some gingerbread men for xmas goodies (I've been trying to add to my list of stuff I'm going to make). So I get out my good 'ol Betty Crocker cookbook (the one from the 50's) to see what I needed. (I love this cookbook, because it has all these great, simple, from-scratch recipes in there.) Anyway, the title above the one I was looking for read: Gingerbread Boys; make your holidays gayer than ever. I about died laughing. The thought that I would "really gay it up this year" kept sending me over the edge.
Yes, I have a juvenile sense of humor.

My wee Bean is sick! :(
Dave wasn't feeling good yesterday, and he came home from work hacking. Rhiannon woke up from her nap after just half an hour - I scooted her back to bed, but the dang dog woke her up by barking within 10 minutes. So I picked her up and put her back in bed, and she just started screaming. So I was holding her and rocking her, trying to get her to calm down, and she made that chokey sound in her throat, so I took off in a hurry, but she threw up before I could get us to the toilet. Poor baby. I got her changed and put her back in bed, and she crashed for another hour. She's running a mild temp. I know she's not feeling well, because she just let me rock her for half an hour or more.
I hate it when my baby is sick!

Yet another reason why moms of little ones hang onto that "baby fat" for so long!
I didn't have a full night of sleep for 16 months after Rhiannon was born, not to mention a few months prior to that (who the heck can sleep when a bowling ball has replaced your stomach?). Thank Gawd for breastfeeding, or I never would have lost the weight! (Of course, I'm still fat, but there are degrees. ;)

This is an interesting story.
I support the troops. I understand where the gov't is coming from on this, I really do, but I'm going to be on the side of the soldiers. This is an "all-volunteer army" to quote Bush, so let's make it such. These men (or women, it doesn't specify the genders of all the soldiers), have served their country, done their time, and want to get back to their families and their lives. I say let them.

You can't change the rules mid-game. Either institute the draft and overtly force people to serve, or let them go home when their duty to their country is finished. And it should be finished when their contract says it's finished, not whenever the gov't decides to let you go. The definition of volunteer: To perform or offer to perform a service of one's own free will.
This doesn't sound like an "all-volunteer army" to me.

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability. You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea. Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion. You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone. If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

This one pretty much tripped me out:
You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone.

Hmmmm, how do they know these things? *eyes narrowing suspiciously*

I've retreated under my favorite rock again. :P

Our Thanksgiving was great, very nice and quiet. I did a simple meal, so I wasn't in the kitchen all day. I made pumpkin pancakes for brunch, then the big meal that afternoon. Rhiannon took a long nap, so I spent a couple of hours reading. Bliss.

Dave and I got into a couple of rows that weekend - I was being menstrual and pissy, and he got tired of it. So a couple of days in there were interesting.

I'm also getting sucked into my annual funk, so that sucks. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, I'm sure I wrote about it last year at this time. It's a holdover from living in the Pacific Northwest for five years - it developed slowly over time, but I guess I thought I would escape it out here. I'm disappointed that it's happening again this year, but hopefully it will be mild and go quickly. And by quickly, I mean February or so. That's what happened last year. I wish I could just snap my fingers and make it go away, but denying its existence hasn't helped keep it at bay over the last month, so I need to try something else.

I'm proud of myself though, I'm cruising through my Holiday Season Duties. I have all the holiday cards out the door, and most of my shopping done! So I'm really happy about that. I ordered a ton of wax a couple of weeks ago, but it hasn't come yet, so I'm getting ticked off about that. But at least it hasn't been here to tempt me to put off the "chores" of the cards and the shopping. I have been motivated by the thought that it could show up any day now, so I've felt the need to clear my schedule for the fun stuff. I feel on top of things this year for a change.

I haven't had much computer time, so I feel like I'm neglecting everything else! I can't seem focus on more than one thing at a time. It seems if I'm on top of the housework, I don't get anything done besides that. If I'm on top of the Christmas stuff, I neglect my spirituality. And, if I'm dealing with SAD, I crawl under a rock and hide there. grrrr It's been helpful to have functions and outings to look forward to, though - I love getting out of the house for Cacklefests, etc., and having some time to myself for chitchat with friends.

We have an appt this afternoon to do some refinancing on our house, so that is (or hopefully will be) good news! We'll get a ton of debt paid off, and have enough left over for some home improvements (at least that's the plan).
Dave quit his job this week and started a new one, and this company sounds so much better than the last one. It sounds like they really take care of their employees, and they have *awesome* health insurance (which is a major blessing - his old insurance didn't cover a single cent of Rhiannon's ER visit in August, to the tune of $700). So hopefully with financial woes and stress out of the way, some of this depression stuff will ease up. Hey, maybe it'll even help me stop being such a raging bitch and bringing my whole family down with me. I can hope. :)