I actually said this to Rhiannon the other night. I haven't been around much lately (if you haven't noticed). I've just been stretched so thin. I've been busy, true, but I have to admit, Beaner is just getting the best of me. She runs me ragged, I tell ya. I don't even know what to do anymore. Add to that the fact that I've been getting 5 hours of sleep or less per night, and you can maybe imagine how things have been around here lately. I went to bed at 9:30 tonight in the hopes of getting some extra sleep - what a joke. I was almost asleep around 10 when she started fussing, so she settles down and I finally drift off... for a whopping 15 minutes before she starts fussing (shrieking, crying) again at 10:45 and totally wakes me up. An hour later and I'm still laying there. What a waste of fucking time. I should have spent the last 2 hours getting some of the thousand things done that I have on my list, but no, I wasted it laying in bed. I'm so freaking tired, I could just cry.
I threatened her the other night with banishment from the bedroom if she didn't knock it off. I swear she does it on purpose. She wakes up, then she chooses to wake everybody else up by making a big fuss. I've watched her do this. She'll wake up, look around all calm, then just launch into a fit. The only thing is, we don't have another bedroom for her, so I can't just move her to her own room. Our guest bedroom is now my candle-making workshop, and the 3rd bedroom is our office. That leaves our bedroom, which is massive and has plenty of room for everybody.
She has just been SO naughty lately. I'm at the end of my rope with her. I feel like such a lousy mother, she just runs circles around me. It's like she enjoys getting in trouble, just to see a reaction. I spend time with her during the day, take her on playdates, go to the park in the evenings... nothing helps. It doesn't matter what I do. She pitches a fit wherever we are when it's time to go home, or even when I just ask her to do something. Today in Costco was another prime example; she hit me at least 3 times because I made her get back into the cart when she wouldn't listen and kept rolling on the floor wrestling with her friend (I was there with another friend and her kids). They all got ice cream, and she didn't. I want to do fun things with her, but I'm afraid to even leave the house anymore.
I tried to take a nap the other day, and miraculously managed to fall asleep for a change. Half an hour later, she was up - I asked her to please lay back down, and she spit all over my back. This, even though a couple days before, Dave needed a nap and laid down with her, and she slept for 3 goddamn hours. It's like I'm not allowed to sleep around here.
See, this is why I don't post anymore. Nothing to say but a crazy, exhausted ramble.
Oh, and I'm SO excited to be going home to MN next Friday. woop-de-doo. Now we get to demonstrate our wonderful parenting abilities to everybody in our family. It's going to be a nightmare, I just know it.